Showing posts with label Punjab. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Punjab. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 4

Punjabis save the world!!

By Nightcrawler


Before Dan Brown comes with yet another Robert Langdon thriller based on this incident in Thapar University and you people begin confusing fact with fiction, FNT is here to bring you the true account of what happened when a huge inscribed, round slab was found in Thapar University which is being claimed as the extension of the previous Mayan’s calendar. The speculation that the world will end in December 2012 is now facing a grave challenge. It was accidentally excavated by one of the workers at the site while carrying out the digging of the land, in front of the girl’s hostel. The investment to make a meditation park on the same land now sounds logical.


Owing to the Archaeological Survey Of India(ASI) team’s shock and Punjab’s delight, the calendar is written in Punjabi. This fact came into light when one of the guards at the duty took a peep at the calendar, when the team from ASI was sweating over it. The guard’s first words, on seeing the calendar, were “Aa ki bhorti?”. For the time being, the new calendar is being called "The Punjabi Calendar"

Govind Tiwari, the worker who found the ‘extended’ calendar, claims that he was struck by a heavenly light from the sky when he first touched it. “I am enlightened” were his first words after the incident, which added to the shock of the co-workers as he never knew anything beyond Bhojpuri. When FNT enquired Govind about this incident, he replied, “It’s all in my blog: http://govindtiwari.blogspot.com/

The whole campus remained in festive mood for a couple of days, as Thapar University hit the news and was thronged by reporters from all over the world. While trying to gain attention of a voluptuous female reporter, a final year mechanical student went steps ahead to claim that he had made 'The Punjabi Calendar' in the forging area of the workshop.

Management was also elated, because the world was not going to end which means the university will stay and they could continue asking students for more fees. Because of the popularity, students from all hostels expressed their desire to visit the location. Hence the management though it ‘wise’ to make two entrances, separated by barricades.(no prizes for guessing the underlying logic).

Tanki, however, seemed largely disappointed, not because it's ‘historic’ significance had been surpassed but because the new site gained so much popularity that it may become a preferred location for carrying out certain ‘covert operations’.



Thursday, June 23

Moving towards a 'Khush Dil' Punjab?

by Cyclops

Rumour mills at Thapar are abuzz with talks about a current student, Sandhu deciding to launch his own political party. Sandhu believes that a man at 83 does not have the right to rule a state and the generation gap is causing much vexation to the majority younger generation crowd of Punjab. The big question is which of the Sandhu's will head this party? Reports have confirmed that there is a major possibility of a joint venture to ensure full control over Punjab, their motherland.

Let me introduce you to the two commander-in-chiefs. Amrinder and Khushdil, the Sandhu bros'. The Sandhu' brothers have been disappointed in the government since a very long time. Also I should add here that they have been disappointed with Thapar ever since they joined. Many such factors motivated them to take this step towards a better state.

With a trip down south, in the land of Telangana, Amrinder Singh was a man on a mission. No, not Capt. Amrinder Singh, I'm talking about Amrinder Singh Sandhu. Oh yes, it is believed that he chose to do his 6 month training at Hyderabad, with main focus on learning the strategies of the Telangana fighters.
He will return to Punjab tomorrow and the rumours have spread like fire all across Punjab about the dawn of a new warrior, the birth of a savior, a Nigga, a Red Devil, one with expertise from another state. I wouldn't talk too much about his strategies as that might land me into some trouble.

Moving on to how this all started, as a kid he was influenced a lot by the Niggas and western culture. He grew up listening to Dr Dre, 50 cent, 2pac, DMX, Ice Cube, etc. On the other hand, KD the other brother was accidentally dropped into a matka of ghee [citation needed] when he was a baby, giving him immense strength which motivated him to take up a career in boxing. They say the kinda ghee he was dropped in, even Obelix would envy him!

Every day as a child he would think about changing the government. Finally, he took a step, united with his brother, and is now on the verge of forming a new party. Additionally Havok and Cypher managed to dig out information regarding the other major members of the party in development.

Harkirat
- A trained sniper from Prague
Grewal - The All-India topper (AIR 1) of the CZAT
Navjot - The Punjabi Karate Kid
Gill sab - Party da 'Role Model'
SS Dhillon - Political Advisor
NGH - Requested no title
Romana - Senior advisor

The initial strategy is believed to focus on winning the two important constituencies. For the same, Amrinder Singh will battle Amrinder Singh for the Patiala constituency expecting full support from Patiala. While, KD will battle for the Bhatinda constituency against the SAD.

Jatt United Party, thats one possibility of what they might call themselves. Check out the logo and flag!

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