Sabretooth's Part(y)ing Letter!

Team FNT (or whatever is left of it): This is the letter written by Sabre which we found in the morning in the debris when we woke up. No sign of Sabre, Mystique and Lance anywhere! How did he write in such a state or where did he find such a parchment; we have no idea. We are further at a loss of words as to what could have prompted them to opt for such a path (especially Lance since he and Cyph were inseparable). Nevertheless we are still hopeful about them returning to us. The brotherhood and X-Men will be back as one again. Meanwhile Team FNT will be taking a break until the group re-unites. We thank you all for your dedicated enthusiasm that fueled our passions to provide you with news

Summer Angst and Anshans!!

by Sabretooth

(Based on an idea sent by Navendu Garg)

With what can be termed as a surprising turn of events, we (in our comfy and cool rooms at our places) have been provided with some insider information college regarding the mercury levels about to soar. For a reminder TU at present is home to 2nd year Mechanical students along with some unfortunate E2D walas (all following the principles of C2D from Five Point Someone), some trainees from other branches (LOL) and distance education senior citizens primarily. Reports suggest that students at Thapar were becoming highly restless because of various problems and grievances. Trouble, which usually lurks around corners of Patiala, knocked at the doors of TU…… Again!

Students are planning a massive college-wide “Anshan” to protest against the brutalities of their stay at college in the summers. Inspired from the ideology of Baba Ramdev and Che Guevara alike, along with being motivated by revolutions going all around the world, these students thought it was high time they did something productive and worthwhile so that the future generations at Thapar could engrave their names in gold in their hearts (the one available in the market is damn costly). Students have joined hands and are calling themselves “Thapar University Che’s” – TUCHEs in short.

In a one-to-one interview with the representative body of TUCHEs comprising of two elected Mech. 2nd year students, an E2D aggrieved, a Faffa champ and (a surprising entry in the form of) Gunny Nescafe. One of the mech. guys started, “Seven morning to two in the afternoon, we are in that grueling workshop making those goddamn things which they throw away with disdain. After that a mere fan greeting your arrival is not enough. It’s so goddamn hot. We need f**cking A/C’s man!”

A huge roar of approval met these words from the large gathering standing around the table. For a moment we sat a little taken aback before resuming. Meanwhile the E2D TUCHE representative was all tearful – “They have passed a new rule according to which if an E is not cleared once it gets converted into an F. I mean common man! There are some of us with 5,6 E’s. How are we supposed to finish our degrees in 4 years? I am picking up this E a 2nd time. Wouldn’t it be better if they give us marks the first time only? I mean, what are they going to do with these excess marks! This whole system is absurd! We are going to bring it down. ” Sympathetic sighs all over. Eagerly waiting for a reply from Faffa champ over this, we turned towards him with anticipation only to meet a blank grinning face – “Later! Am high! But I agree with whatever has been said and are going to say”.

Wondering what does Gunny Nescafe has to gain from this we looked over at him. Jumping on the cue to talk (like he always does) he goes into his own sad story – “Mera bi bura haal hai. Pehle hi bache kam hai. Upar se na koi maggi leta hai na ice-teas. Fir inka ye and-shand (“Anshan” whispered the 2nd year)…han Anshan … upar se kiraya itna! Main to sadak pea a jayunga. Jaldi se inki maange poori karwa ke business ko line pe lana hai”

Determined faces and rock solid intentions were facing me from all sides (though a few might have been under the influence of ‘Joint Accounts’). Having accumulated masses to their cause through social networking sites, they seem to be quite confident at bringing the desired changes that they think are necessary in a progressive education institution. They have fixed the date of Anshan for 3rd July, Sunday. Let us see what happens. As for us at FNT, we wish them luck with their endeavors.

“Long live the revolution!”

TU Does a DU

by Sabretooth

In a bizarre turn of events the admission process at Thapar came under direct fire from various sources when, taking a leaf out of Delhi University’s little stunt, the academic front of TU decided to raise the level of AIEEE Cut-Offs required for admission into batch 2011-12. Reports say that if the college strictly follows the Cut-Offs they have set for this year’s admission, even Biotech would get filled by AIR 14000. That would make the top branches at Thapar one of the most sought after courses in the country, surpassing even the likes of IIIT Hyderabad, BITS Pilani, NIT Trichy and even some IITs

Er…… That was what the reports claimed. Now for some reality check!

If the statistics from the last three years are observed, we find some major anomalies in the otherwise projected expectations. Year 2008 saw the Cut-Offs suffering a minor setback with branches accommodating students at ranks with which they might not have secured seats had they been in the competition a year before (much to the relief of those who had applied). CS went till about AIR 9K, ECE till AIR 10K, Mech/EIC – 14K, EE – 17, CIV – 18, CHEM – 20 and BIOTECH – 35. Comes year 2009 batch and the charts are singing a different story altogether. CS – 17k, ECE – 18K, Mech – 20K, EIC – 23 and so forth with BIOTECH till 60K I think. To add to it Thapar passed an educational reform according to which the students of the same branch started classes with the branch from the 1st year only, instead of the mixed batch system prevalent in the previous years, thus KLPDing the Mechanchees (though they got their reason to smile a few days later). So technically speaking the college had suffered academically and now the new reform was meant to make it suffer socially as well. Similar dwindling stats support my argument for the year that came next as well. It is rumored that some seats went vacant and got filled by the December Test (another educational reform) introduced by Thapar the previous session.

During a brainstorming session, 29% chose “increasing fees” as the root cause of the falling Cut-Offs. The rest did not want to sound cheap and hence opted for safer ones like management (though I never figure out what this one always means), Placements, Campus green cover, etc.

During an interview when we asked about the agenda behind such a move, while quoting the above said stats, someone very high up from the Thapar Mechanical faculty quoted – “Dekhiye ji, such decisions are not based upon mere data and statistics like number of applicants, College Fees, Placement records, etc. Sometimes you have to go with the gut factor. Unke mann mein aaya, unhone cut-offs set kar diye. Hum log pichle saal bhi waise hi padate the, is saal bhi waise hi padayenge. Khali reh gyi seats, tab bi classes to humein leni hi hongi. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go to UFC for my daily Cardios.” We stood there gaping at his answer while he kick started his scooter and zoomed away. Only when he crossed the T- Point did we realize that his words could have been sarcastic as well. Turns out teachers are as equally fed up with these annual changes in the student admission procedures.

In view of all these facts it becomes a little hard to digest how would they manage to fill their seats without students applying for the same. When this info reached the ears of the honorable HRD minister Mr. Kapil Sibal he raised his hands in exasperation, rolled his eyes and said – “First DU now TU. I agree Jairam has praised their faculty and everything but this is the limit. I think they are taking his words very seriously even though we in the cabinet don’t” – laughing at his joke before continuing – “but now that this has been brought to my attention I think I would have a chat with them as well. Though I highly doubt they would stick to it. They never do.”

On an ending note I would like to comment on the futility of it all. SRCC is the top college for commerce in the country with about every one of the lakhs of aspirants vying for its limited number of seats. To add to it the college fees is under Rs 10,000 (Annually :P) whereas we are about to scale even greater heights with the new session. So unless the college sets its priorities right – Pupils or Paise – it is highly unlikely that they would achieve success with the Cut-Offs that they have set.

TU Says ADIOS PATIALA!

by Sabretooth

Having gone undercover for the past many weeks in search for some deep rooted information from within the core administration, your humble friend had to stay away from the page for a while in order not to blow his cover. Following one lead after another I made contact with Polaris, one of our own who provided FNT with some startling information. In what can be regarded as a revolutionary step for the future of TU and its students – present and those yet to come, the authorities have decided to shift TU headquarters to the newly inaugurated Chandigarh campus of the college. The administration is keen on making a speedy transfer of info and personnel before the new session starts.

The BOG has proposed to better the Chandigarh Campus in all respects and plans to convert the main campus into the sister branch. One of the members of the board was skeptical about it and asked, “But what about the Thapar Plan 2027?” To which the other curtly replied, “Who gives a **** about a cardboard model anyway? We’ll plan the new one on those grounds. Savvy?” Reasons cited for this plan in the top secret report include:

• Competition to PEC (FNT Speaks: Who are they kidding?)
• Better educational opportunities for students (FNT Speaks: We didn’t get what they meant by this one)
• Access to opportunities for students (FNT Speaks: Agreed. Girls in Patiala are hard to come by)
• Proximity to airport (FNT Speaks: WTF??)
• Captain Amrinder Singh (FNT Speaks: Double WTF??)

Most of the contents are still under scanner for better interpretation. We asked our fellow students to give us there opinions on this. Some of the best replies

“Ye kya matlab hua. Ye pichle 2-3 saal se kuch bi kari jaa rahe hai. (Wtf? They are doing anything from the last 2-3 years)”

“Sahi! Bai talent hai Chandigarh mein. Aishhh! (Nice! Chandigarh’s got talent. It’s gonna be fun)

“AML” ( Er……… )

This decision of theirs is bound to meet overwhelming acceptance by most of us at TU. But a few others would surely be worried about the repercussions this might have on the college rankings and placements.

Have faith guys! If even after many seats lying vacant after the 5th counseling we managed a AAA+ Rating and a 17th rank in some highly publicized ratings, this is but a minor obstacle in the otherwise bright future of TU

Sorry Team FNT: Zuckerberg

by Sabretooth

Mark Zuckerberg, the CEO and founder of the social networking site Facebook.com (and a recent celebrity after the movie – The Social Network), took time out of his very busy schedule to drop in an apology to the Team FNT - Faking News at Thapar.


Our dedicated readers must have noticed a few glitches from the past few days with the ‘like’ feature of Facebook that we have installed in the blog. Well those ‘few glitches’ cost us the opinion of our readers. The social networking site has an automated system that adds a website to a blocklist if they get too many likes. The system assumes the site to be a spam-generating or a like-jacking site. We acknowledge the stringent measures adopted by the Facebook developers to make their site spam free. I mean who wouldn’t! Every second day we receive a notification from people –

“Hi guys! Check this app. I can see who visits my profile!” – P.S- We don’t give a damn.

or “I just won an IPad. Click this url!” – P.S- Would have been more interested had you won a nappy pad.

or “Awesome video of a dog wearing pants and then crapping in them. Check it out!” – P.S- Seriously?! Dog shitting! Awesome?!


And I think you got the point I was trying to make. But! That does not mean we don’t value our efforts in compiling reports and articles for all. So, after the vehement opposition against Mr. Zuckerberg – with some of us even going to extent of re-christening him – it came to their light that ours was a venture on the grounds of free journalism and could not be kept in the same category as the rest. In the amicable discussion that followed, Mr. Zuckerberg realized that we had been wronged and promised to set the record straight. He further informed us that we might have to face the problems for a few more days before his developers come up with something more stable and FN friendly.


We thank Mr. Zuckerberg for looking into the matter personally and would urge him to see to it that the things come back to track speedily. Till then, we have the 3-4 step procedure to ‘Like’ a post on the blog and an official apology from the creators backing the same.

Sports Day Surprises

by Sabretooth

Sports day is around the corner and preparations are heavy. Many rumors are being circulated all around. It has been our most sincere efforts to keep facts apart from fiction and present you the truth behind those rumors.

Every year Thapar University supremos try to get eminent personalities to grace the occasion. Fishing about within the Sports Department has revealed that this year the university has invited the tennis duo Leander Paes and Mahesh Bhupathi to inaugurate the function. When asked to verify, Shankar Bhaiya, the material procurement incharge had very little to say, “ Arrey bhai, hum logon ke ye kaha kuchh batate hai. Hum log to bas pahunch jate hai jaha bulate hai. Aisa nai hai ki humein khushi nai hai inke aane ki, lekin Sania Mirza ji aatey to zyada khushi hoti”.

Later in the evening in a chance conversation with Sh. S.S. Sidhu, Sports head and the man who made it possible, we asked him about the authenticity of these reports. The thick eyebrows behind those round spectacles went up with surprise and after a few moments he spoke, “I congratulate your wonderful team. It seems nothing escapes your keen eyes. Yes it is true the tennis legends have agreed to inaugurate the function on my personal request. Keeping aside all the friction that the two have for each other, they have agreed to make an appearance for the Thaparians, who they believe are symbols of excellence just like they themselves are”. When asked why it was being kept such a secret he breaks into a smile and says, “Dr. Seema Bawa, the dean of students’ affairs, is a huge fan of tennis. This was a welcome gift for the first Sports Meet under her. You know how she loves surprises”.

Apart from witnessing a vast variety of events and activities, including athletics, sports, pie-fights and what looked like (from what we deduced on spying upon their practice session) a mix between the AOL bhastrika and gymnastics; the duo will also encourage students to opt for outdoor sports, especially tennis – the game that made Lara Dutta possible for Bhupathi.

We, at Thapar, will be anxiously waiting for these tennis greats to arrive and enthrall us with their words of wisdom (and Tennis)

Thapar Group to buy a Team in IPL

by Sabretooth

In the wake of recent success of the IPL format and more teams being added into it, business conglomerates are considering purchasing IPL teams as a promising option to increase the brand value of their company and garnering overall support of the local masses. Some very reliable sources from high up within the Thapar administration have revealed that the Avantha Group plans to catch up with this trend and are in talks with the BCCI to approve a team from Patiala as well.

They further provided that the Board of Governors was very keen to pursue these talks. Our sources along with the members of the panel behind this decisive on believe, “If Pune and Kochi can, then Patiala can too”.

When asked to the students of Thapar University, whether they approved this move or not we got a very positive response from all. A boy from 2nd year got all excited and said, “Hell yeah! I mean this is one of the few decisions of theirs that we would ever approve”. When asked if Patiala was a city enough to justify a team named after it he replied back tersely, “Of course! It is the royal city of Punjab, it has cultural heritage to support it along with more than 5000 Alumni of Thapar at top positions all over the world. What more could you ask?”. Another one from 1st year broke into a smile and replied in a solemn voice, “It could result in the university lowering down the fees. At more than a Lakh a semester, it has become the Manipal of Punjab, minus the facilities of course!”. Little did the Fachha knew that apparently the increase in fee (in the name of development) was due to the proposal requiring enormous funds (citation needed).

With things looking promising with the proposal it is only a matter of time before it gets a pass. How the BCCI justifies a team cropping up from KXI Punjab’s domain and whether it means trouble for the latter – in terms of territory – is a matter being discussed with the owners of both the teams. With matters looking bleak for the Kings all I can say is that in order to gain support from the Thaparians, Preity will have to do better than what she did in Maxim last year.