Smells like a 'keen' spirit!

By Havok

While on one hand he has become the worldwide trending topic on Twitter; newspapers and Bollywood magazines are abuzz with reports confirming that Sonu Nigam, India's very own rockstar (Yess...that is what he claims to be!!) is starting his own Hard-rock band to be called “NIRVAAN”, we at FNT have been informed by some trusted sources that this golden boy of Indipop is 'keen' on having the first public performance of the band in the University premises.

Shocked?

Yeah, even we were, but we have managed to dig out full information regarding this. It all actually started in 1988 when Sonu, accompanied by his father visited Thapar for an event organized by SPICMACAY and he saw American rock band “NIRVANA” performing for the first time. It is said that young Sonu was totally floored by the the band’s performance. When we asked about the incident from him, Mr. Agam Kumar Nigam, beaming with happiness replied, “It was about two decades back but each moment of that night is still inscribed in my mind, I haven’t seen Sonu happier, he was so ecstatic to see Kurt Cobain sing that he ran his way up the stage and started headbanging to Smells like teen spirit. Since then, he has considered him as his Guru and Thapar as place that is holiest of the holies. Even when we came back from Patiala, that was the only song that could be heard in our home for the next many years but then, that eventful day came..” Controlling his emotions, visible shaken Mr. Kumar continued “..the day when Cobain left for his heavenly abode, its it then that he decided that he’ll start his own rock band someday and will call it “Nirvaan” as a tribute to the great band and its great vocalist and the first public performance of the band would take place at Thapar only.”

Our sources say that Sonu is quite nervous on how Ms. Sheila will react to his offer because he is aware of the weird decisions she has been taking recently.

While some students are going crazy to see his performance, many are criticizing his decision of forming a rock band. When asked for his opinion on this news, a final year student, apparently a big Anu Malik fan replied, “Unchi hai building, lift teri band hai, band banaane chala hai, saale ki buddhi mand hai.”

But who knows, if all goes well, we might be the lucky(??) ones to be the audience to the first ever performance of this first Indian hardrock band.

T.U.-Ready to STORM THE FRONT?

by-Cypher feat. The Storm!


Ms Sheila is definitely hell bent on taking Thapar to new heights!! After numerous controversial decisions, this one is sure to blow the roof off this place! Yes, Thapar is all set for the introduction of a new branch CS16E (Counter Strike 1.6 Engineering) from this academic session.

In Ms Sheila’s words, “I think all of us would agree to the fact that our students are dedicated to Counter Strike more than anything else. People all across India go to KOTA for coaching for various entrance exams, Right! However, if you see closely, In Kota too there are more gaming parlours than there are coaching classes! Padhai k liye 2-3 ghante nahi jagte aur CS k liye nightout marr lete hain!“


The said branch would be open for admissions from this session. For this session AIEEE rankings would be the criteria, however, the next session onwards, it has been proposed to have a separate test CZAT (Condition Zero Aptitude Test). That’s about the admissions. What about the curriculum?

The students of this branch would learn all the basics of the game-all the different maps, weaponries, strategies. The second year would introduce core subjects like AMMO OPTIMIZATION TECHNIQUES, TOTAL FREEZE-TIME MAINTAENANACE, WEAPONS BUYING-NUMERICAL ANALYSIS, and GHOSTING-COMMUNICATION SKILLS. The going gets tougher in the third year with special skills brought to the table in subjects like SURVIVAL MECHANICS, MAP DESIGNING, BOMBING STRATEGICS, and FRAGGING THE FAG. The course would include a 6-month industrial training programme too which would let the students test their mantle against the PROS!! The final year would be all about specializing. Choices would include SNIPE SCIENCES, PISTOL PERFECT, KNOW YOUR KNIFE, and so.


The official announcement would soon be done although the college aspirants are already buzzing with excitement! “Wow! Isn’t that the greatest thing in the world? No learning stupid useless things. Only pure knowledge. Now this is education!” Few of the students already a part of Thapar expressed their desires to forfeit their current branches and start afresh. “I am in 2nd year currently and I don’t know shit about MY branch!! CS is what I want man!!”


However, the parents of the aspiring students are worried about the future scope of this new branch. Ms Sheila called a press conference to address the parents "There have been allegations that criminals have been using CS to practice shooting. Why can’t it be used the other way round!! This branch would give more people the opportunity to serve our nation! The students from this branch will gain technical knowledge about the various aspects of warfare and would be eligible to join the army. So there it goes a branch of engineering to help serve the nation."

Well Ms Sheila surely seems confident about her decisions. All we can say is GO GO GO!